Christmas, and him.

Wow, I am really bad at blogging. It has been a long time! But I am in college and finals happen and right after that Christmas happens, it's a busy time. I had a really great Christmas and always do. I have always LOVED Christmas and so has my mom. She is always very excessive at getting presents and spends lots of money for my brother and I. This year I got a microwave... ya know for when I actually move out. Yea are they trying to tell me something? But I got a lot of neat clothes and some kitchen supplies cause I like trying to cook new yummy things. But I can't help but feeling like I am missing something. My boyfriend has been out of town since Wednesday to go see his family. I have missed him so much this Christmas, it just feels like I should be with him, like he is my family now. It's a really wierd feeling to me, while I have missed past boyfriends when they were gone, I didn't feel like this. I just felt like I missed them but it was whatever because they would be back soon. But when P leaves I feel like my world is ending. I almost cried seeing him walk out the door. Last year he left for 10 days to go to Europe in the spring, I BAWLED when he left. I can't help but think about this feeling and think... Maybe he is the ONE? But who is to know what will happen. OK maybe I have been having fantacies about a ring on my left fingure, but I don't really want that at this point.

Anyway.. My Christmas was great except, I didn't get to talk to my boyfriend. It made me soo sad because he knows how much I LOVE Christmas and he couldn't take a minute out to say hi. We had texted a few times and I told him I wanted to talk to him, he said he could call soon. He finally called me at 3something AM. But he was wispering so I know the party had been over and everyone had been asleep, along with me. Yey Christmas voicemail of him wishpering hey goodnight guess you are asleep Merry Christmas. I was really excited to tell him what I got and about all the foods and drinks I am going to make him with the supplies I got but nope I didn't get a Christmas hello or anything. Ugh. I have a feeling today isnt going to be such a great day. I havn't been able to sleep well at home so I am pretty exhausted so my feelings may be a little sensitive today, about 4 nights of not sleeping well.. and O yea and I am Pmsing this week... fantastic! I want to clean my room at home because well all these years of excessive Christmases causes a bunch of crap in my room. And if I am going to be moving out soon then I can't have all of that stuff.
by the way the doctor pretty much just shrugged her shoulders at my dizziness and said its probably something to do with my ears and to come back in 4 weeks if I still have it... only 2 more weeks to go.